borrowed my brother's bag and came across this:


man.. how long has that bag not been cleaned? lol. but anyway, this is cool artifact! from november 2006. i think that's why everyone needs a sibling. that ticket was pretty. i miss those days. rather miss being in tjchoir. the constantly high feeling. (not true. but i remember only the good bits. there weren't many bads.)

we rocked.

managed to extract the german songs that andrew burned like two years ago, now that i have a dvd drive lol. some are pretty cool.

i lost my sense of identity. lol.

that's how i felt. so i took a pair of scissors from my brother's room, steeled myself and went to stand before the bathroom mirror, and cropped my hair. that makes me sound positively unstable, but i assure you i am more or less sane. i just have this impulse to cut my hair when i feel restless or upset. this is not the first time, so i know what i'm doing.

i'm sorry callista, i saw your NO only after i did it. i may have postponed it or something if i had seen it earlier.

this is what i think: man lives and dies alone.

these days i don't know whom to trust. your friend suddenly becomes enemy and you realise you've been thinking with your, what, nails? stupid prejudice and some of your "friends" are no friend. happened once, twice, thrice, and that's it. chances GONE. lol. of course i'm exaggerating it. that's why i write it. lol. but anyway it doesn't only happen to me..

i thank some people who have been really nice. i wish the world was like that.

i forced myself to turn on the computer so i can rip my cds into the library. desperately need songs. this com is technically empty. anyone with songs to share are welcome to send me some :D

leaving some cds unripped though. there's something about playing cds in your discman, forcing yourself to sit (or stand) through the ones you don't like, and having to repeat twelve, thirteen songs three, four times a day. the sacrifice you have to go through to access the good bits.

break is halfway over and still doing work. lol.

i love this photo.


must save money so i can go back there and visit my "Land of Wonder". very pleasant memories indeed. to me it was like a dream. like i hadn't seen enough and suddenly i was overwhelmed by wonder. everything was awesome. and then the people i met were great. and it was different from like a holiday, because i was living there like a normal life, cooking, washing, watching football, doing grocery, walking around the park.

oh man...

anw this is funny: "The New Facebook is now the only Facebook." lol.

i've decided i'm going to write a book someday. when i'm really free. in this lifetime, yeah. it's going to be a fiction. and it's going to be a cool one like the Catcher in the Rye or Othello or something. it's not going to be categorisable other than under 'Classics' or 'Cool' probably. LOL. and it's going to be a bit funny (ok fine fine i'm seeing rolling eyes here).

crazy over Aerosmith's 'Crazy'.
"what can i do, i feel like the colour blue."

totally different context, though. lol. i dunno why. i wish i weren't such an emo person. man.. scheisse. i think i'll bring Danke to studio. she's going to talk to me, and make funny pleasant noises. and i'll buy a flower. no amount of triggerhappytv can put me back to track.

the thing i like about blogging is.. i can be (relatively) self-absorbed without being self-absorbed, really. at least i'm not imposing it, i mean, only people who want to read will read. ah but this is bad so i should just write elsewhere private, really.

busy week. busy relaxing and playing. lol. oh man.. term break is here! good.

anyway some impactful parting words from fong:
"it will love you back. ... People will disappoint you at some point, but that which you have created will always be yours."

i think it's true. anyway. i want a pet. or a flower. maybe another Lobelia? ok i've decided, i'll buy a pot of flower one of these days. i need to talk to somebody.

i don't know you. i don't know anyone. i fear the unknown.