the world is evil!! lol. some stupid people invited me to a reunion course in schwaebisch hall this june. [WEEPS]. it would be really nice to meet them again.. man.. i need money. hahaha. yeah i'll go again someday someday s-o-m-e-d-a-y. ok not feeling quite as normal as usual.

argh. had to wipe a tear.

okay that sounds quite stupid. but honestly i'm sad. haha. other than that i'm progressing through my abridged copy of david copperfield rather briskly. (maybe there isn't such a use of the word). it's really enjoyable. and other than that i've been sleeping a lot. and really slacking. and i'm on stage 3 of aladdin!! except it's really infuriating to realise that the 3 lives are for all the stages, and i lost 2 liberally in the first stage. damn. (btw it doesn't allow me to save my game so i keep having to repeat the first stage)

i am a free man. that keeps me happy for the moment.

thinking of WHEN to go on exchange. next year fabian will have n levels. next2 year he'll have his os. argh. damn. i think i should talk to him.

so ya i'm not that free after all. everyone's bound to his obligations.

naturally oliver twist wasn't as great as great expectations because the first is his early work and the latter is one of his last works. i'm reading david copperfield. yeah it's funny. maybe he got skeptical towards the end of his life. maybe everyone gets skeptical at some point.

you can't lose what you never had. so why do i feel sad. stupid.

if i open a store it shall be called 'die Sonne' or 'die Ecke'. so cool!

pochi is real cute.

finally finished the 'Haus der Schildkroeten'!!
i have thousands more to read (just so my money doesn't go to waste):

1. Really Reading Gertrude Stein - Judy Grahn
2. The City of Tomorrow and Its Planning - Le Corbusier
3. Towards a New Architecture - Le Corbusier
   
4. Interview with Rem Koolhaas
5. Architecture: Form, Space and Order - Frank Ching
6. 1984 - George Orwell
7. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
8. Mein Haus Hat Keine Waende - Mallet-Joris
   
9. Antony and Cleopatra - Shakespeare
   
10. Lolita - Nabokov
    
11. Awakenings - Pramoedya Ananta Toer (from mr. Thompson)
12. The Story of Art - Gombrich
    

those are the ones i could think of at the moment. (because i'm next to the bookshelf.. but i can only remember some of those that i left in singapore, so there are actually more). only intending to finish reading 1 and maybe 6/7 these two weeks. then by the end of this holiday i'll attempt to finish 3/4 and 12 as well. sounds ambitious huh.. ya i think so too. i should stop hoarding books. i should stop getting new books. damn. running out of space as well.

and no. didn't complete aladdin that day.

i want a day without scrutiny.

i've been rather efficient. but i need to get those sewings done man.. finishing the book real soon. it's more interesting towards the end.

and i'm going to COMPLETE ALADDIN TONIGHT!! actually maybe i shouldn't.. to keep the fun longer. but i'm motivated. haha. anyway i'll have dizzy after that. to think it used to be so hard for me to just jump and grab the rope and complete the first level.

"No, my heart is turned to stone; I strike it and it hurts my hand." - Othello

kok makin lama sepertinya makin ada sesuatu yang mencurigakan.. haha. the numbers look odd..

i'm good at this. i can wait forever, man.. i just need incentives. lol.

on another note, i should really start studying properly. been busy doing other stuff. room is now reduced to 3 boxes and a rolling luggage that doesn't quite roll. and the rest of the stuff, which i'm hoping to fit into another box. suddenly feel like i've been living a rather compact life. haha. threw away 6 grocery bags of stuff today. including my broken walkman and discman!!! how sad!
shit i just remembered i still have blanket and two stuffed toys.

ich pendle.
in sec 3/4 i wanted to go against norms in society. in jc i theorised that there's no such thing as a society, and similarly there are no individuals; there is no real self and therefore no hypocrisy. now.. ya i'm back to the notion of individuals and society. in the past i wanted to defy norms where i felt they were not appropriate. not just defying norms for the sake of doing so. now i feel not only i must rebel with discretion, i must have an aim. and my aim is to bring stereotypes down.

ok. anyhow. climate exam was ... dots. so now japanese left! i like studying japanese. haha.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

They asked me how I knew my true love was true,
I of course replied, something here inside cannot be denied.
They said someday you'll find all who love are blind,
When your heart's on fire, you must realize,
Smoke gets in your eyes.

So I chaffed and then I gaily laughed,
To think that they could doubt my love,
Yet today, my love has flown away,
I am without my love.
Now laughing friends deride tears I cannot hide,
So I smile and say when a lovely flame dies,
Smoke gets in your eyes.

i have finally found out how to use the german keyboard on windows! haha. ok now finally can type properly.

today's the first day i'm being rather productive. haha. maybe i should always study in library.

i'm happy. for the wrong reasons. i think i'm really deprived. lol.