hm.. i must not disappoint my tutor.

speaking of tutor, sometimes i wonder if one's personality changes as one switches language. at least in terms of external relationships. like i think i'm a more pleasant person when i speak indonesian, because i am less sarcastic and i don't swear with every sentence, but i'm also more serious and more authoritative, because imperative sentences don't sound as bad in indonesian as they do in english.

i feel like i'm halfway through disappointing my tutor. lol.

school starting soon. what a nightmare. i must enjoy these two days fully. been playing bridge overnight cos the chingay comm job is kind of done. the recre room is finally a recre room. we tested the lights and there's rehearsal today but i have to go to a capella concert. i think many people have enjoyed chingay preparation so much they started feeling 空虚 now that it's nearly come to an end. lol. i kind of like the chingay comm people, and the minor additions to the party. and i like playing bridge unprofessionally, haha. the unprofessionalism creates a lot of funny moments.

i won't forget this december :)

went to mui's house to get licked all over by her dog. and i bought new phone after 3+ years, so like playing around with it while i have the time!

dreading dreading the studio list.

og i hate life. haha.

i shall shut up and you'll never hear my voice again. not an easy task, but i'll manage. i really don't give a damn about money and all. if i have money i'll spend it, if i don't have money i'll make do.

well thank goodness it's a new year! which means i have one less year to spend on this world, in the company of irritating people.

'Flatland' is amazing.. my dream is to one day write a book like that. it was thoroughly enjoyable. some funny bits though i'd say rather irritating. but i shan't be so petty as to be annoyed with a mere Square. lol. "Our Women are Straight Lines." "all that you speak of as solid... your houses, your churches, your very chests and safes all lying open and exposed to my view."

Speaking of states of mind.. i'm not quite as healthy as i used to be. i have more fears and more confidence, more help and more dependence, more happiness and more insecurities.

in short i gained some, and now i have more to lose.

the results are quite annoyingly depressing. but it's not just the results. it's my state of mind.

we went to watch avatar yesterday, the chingay comm plus a few extras. i think avatar was rather lame. ok la like not exactly bad,, but not good either. plus it was damned long and we sat in the second row.

going home home home.

my gastric ailment gets worse by the day.

finally applied for exchange. hope all goes well. really really want to go. will the heavens sense my eagerness? lol.

have never felt happier. a new sense of happiness, overwhelming contentment. yeah feeling quite good. but abit sad knowing that it won't last forever. nothing lasts forever. haha.

chingay is getting a bit more fun. it's quite cool. except that i have very little time for myself.. can't do much. that reminds me.. i'm supposed to finish up some watercolour and readings. write exchange application and research on it.

ich haette gedacht, dass du es verstehen will, besser als andere Leute.