cannot believe it. it's the end of recess week. that means half a semester gone.

i've been feeling this unbearable desire to get away from everything i'm doing now and do something new, go somewhere else. this place is stifling and omg dystopic. i wouldn't say it's horrible, it does have some nice points - like free and healthy public toilets everywhere, good navigation and transport system etc.

but life is not just amenities, and life is certainly not just having a good education, a good job, making good money, eating good food, buying a car, etc. i want to live somewhere more relaxed, somewhere i can think and develop ideas, somewhere where my neurons wouldn't be permanently damaged by stress and late nights.

somewhere i can walk random paths. where i don't have to avoid green turfs. where there's no one in vicinity and i can sing as loud as i want to. where there is no freaking INFORMATION shoved at my face, where i can look for my own information and feel like a child again. human again.

the hills are bluer on some other side. the hills will be bluer some other time.

i have this desktop background. can't remember where i got it from. haven't changed background in years but recently thanks to my new laptop, i can see it clearer. and when i carefully look at the small houses in the background, the f*ing SCALE man.. i have this feeling in my heart like it may stop beating anytime, and my brain's going to burst if i don't make a run soon.

in a place like that you know your place in the universe.

Bakers Architectural Principles

Bakers Architectural Principles: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

the moment was full of contradictions. and i mean overflowing with it.

"i'm turning turning turning turning turning around
and all that i can see is just another lemon tree."
useless shit thinking.

anyway loads to do, submission is just a week away, so probably won't update much in the near future.

i just really hate people in general. i prefer plants and animals. i even hate myself. more specifically, i hate my current self, i want to go back say three or four years in time, ok maybe even further back. i find the world so sickening and difficult to live in.

but well yeah it's a life i have to live, and well there are some nice and reasonable people, just that there are so few..

"Fast alles hat sich geändert, und fast alles ist sich gleichgeblieben."- Als Ich Ein Kleiner Junge War

Wenn ich Erich Kästner lese, verstehe ich eigentlich warum ich die deutsche Sprache liebe.

I had a nightmare. A really depressing nightmare. Actually i´ve had 2 this week. On two separate subjects but both as depressing.

And it's rag day tomorrow. I wish every participant good luck.

went on a trip to jakarta and bandung. i had interesting days.. so ya pretty happy about it, although i would have preferred a friendlier weather (less rain and more sunlight).

a new semester starting soon. no one would understand how i feel.

anyway. great song from my childhood.

张雨生 - 是否真的爱我



是否真的爱我？别对我沉默，这月色美丽的夜晚，你在想什么？
是否真的爱我？别对我冷漠，你心里有什么样的话，尽管对我说！
还记得曾经编织的梦想，也许你早遗忘，绚烂的爱情在多年以后，也许渐渐变得平淡。

你可知不是我不了解爱情微妙难捉摸，不是我不怀疑眩外的爱情会迷惑。总是那肩并肩走过的岁月刻画在心头，切切的叮咛着我与你长相厮守！

apparently i've been promoted, such that i can now be addressed with a cute word by a totally uncute person.

been having practices with the group after work, i hardly have time/energy to help out with rag. or watch football. anyway i've been watching football on rcti via some online streaming and the screen is so freakin small it's very difficult to concentrate and enjoy the game.

reading this book 'Indonesia Dalem Api dan Bara'. Good book, i'd recommend this to all fellow indonesians.

i'm sorry, i didn't mean the uncute part.