i'm your friend but you're not mine.

i really hate people.
quote of the day: "When your life has been ruined, you should lie under a tree all afternoon." - Charlie Brown.

i want to stay somewhere where i can run to a small creek and sit under a tree with my dog(s). and go home to dig my potatoes etc.

i haven't written much, huh? it's holiday time! i've been well, catching up on sleep time, slack time, going out time, re-exploring singapore and learning abit of web design on drupal for infotech.

one note on re-exploring singapore. it's kind of hard to feel that kind of lost bewilderment that is the fun in travel when you know almost 95% how to get around. still, it has been great fun. i really like the tanjong pagar - raffles place area. it's literally shady, with all those tall buildings, which means i don't have to be under the scorching sun for long. nice.

looking forward to beijing trip with my mom but yea, haven't fully figured what we're going to do over there for two weeks other than freezing. i want to go to harbin! seems like a pleasant and interesting city. hope i get to see some falling snow.

it has occurred to me that i live 5 months of my life looking forward to the next holiday and the next travel. quite pathetic. nevertheless, this semester has gone wayy better than all my previous sems combined together, so yea, i'm not complaining. have recently re-applied for SEP i hope i get a place next year.

i don't know what else to write. i've been talking more these days, that's why i write less. as for burdensome depressing thoughts, well they stay the same. i'll avoid repeating and sounding like a rant. which i am.

ah yeah, plant died. my pretty, beautiful plant!! i think the stem broke, i don't know when or how. but since then, it has been a journey downhill. farewell.

cannot believe it. it's the end of recess week. that means half a semester gone.

i've been feeling this unbearable desire to get away from everything i'm doing now and do something new, go somewhere else. this place is stifling and omg dystopic. i wouldn't say it's horrible, it does have some nice points - like free and healthy public toilets everywhere, good navigation and transport system etc.

but life is not just amenities, and life is certainly not just having a good education, a good job, making good money, eating good food, buying a car, etc. i want to live somewhere more relaxed, somewhere i can think and develop ideas, somewhere where my neurons wouldn't be permanently damaged by stress and late nights.

somewhere i can walk random paths. where i don't have to avoid green turfs. where there's no one in vicinity and i can sing as loud as i want to. where there is no freaking INFORMATION shoved at my face, where i can look for my own information and feel like a child again. human again.

the hills are bluer on some other side. the hills will be bluer some other time.

i have this desktop background. can't remember where i got it from. haven't changed background in years but recently thanks to my new laptop, i can see it clearer. and when i carefully look at the small houses in the background, the f*ing SCALE man.. i have this feeling in my heart like it may stop beating anytime, and my brain's going to burst if i don't make a run soon.

in a place like that you know your place in the universe.

Bakers Architectural Principles

Bakers Architectural Principles: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

the moment was full of contradictions. and i mean overflowing with it.

"i'm turning turning turning turning turning around
and all that i can see is just another lemon tree."
useless shit thinking.

anyway loads to do, submission is just a week away, so probably won't update much in the near future.

i just really hate people in general. i prefer plants and animals. i even hate myself. more specifically, i hate my current self, i want to go back say three or four years in time, ok maybe even further back. i find the world so sickening and difficult to live in.

but well yeah it's a life i have to live, and well there are some nice and reasonable people, just that there are so few..

"Fast alles hat sich geändert, und fast alles ist sich gleichgeblieben."- Als Ich Ein Kleiner Junge War

Wenn ich Erich Kästner lese, verstehe ich eigentlich warum ich die deutsche Sprache liebe.

I had a nightmare. A really depressing nightmare. Actually i´ve had 2 this week. On two separate subjects but both as depressing.

And it's rag day tomorrow. I wish every participant good luck.