damn a lot of effort for self.

Let the bridges burn.

i'm glad i did it. however painful it was, it will be over. this too shall pass.

i'll try not to be bitter. i'll give everyone the benefit of the doubt and we'll be happy as always. we're nice people and we deserve happy days. i'll put this behind me and be a happy person. there's no point thinking about why and how and what the hell.

strange how it can be so much easier to talk to a stranger. i talked to this lady i barely know, someone i met at work. and she understood, and she understood without knowing anything about the situation. and she could discuss about it with respect to me. without judgments.

i will still wake up with painful thoughts. but with time it will blow over. dunno how many times this can be pieced and re-pieced together but well.. we'll see how.

trying to arrange 'The Longest Time' but the nwc trial only allows me to save a file 10 times. shucks. so maybe i'll do that on weekends.

Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

I've been down and I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around with me, with me

It wastes time and I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile
But be free, they're all free

So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home

I look around at a beautiful life
I've been the upper side of down, been the inside of out
But we breathe, we breathe

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me, all me

So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home

So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow, I'll find my way home

forget it?
i'm not that kind of person. if i was, i would've left archi a long time ago.

im wasting my time. but then again i was pretty happy with what i have now, with the status quo. so let it be. i tried the break this year. it served me fine, but i don't like it. i feel mean and opportunistic. when it's time to forget i will naturally forget. sometimes in life you just have to walk the course even if you don't know where it's headed to.

don't be mean. let me go.

should i go visit haw par villa today? i wanted to but i should really be thinking about the masterplan.

lights are really fun. but i get too flustered and panicky so i tend to press whatever buttons my fingers happen to touch. i shall volunteer for this again next year and see if i can improve.

now i feel like working as stage light manager.

the thing about dogs.. you become attached to them regardless of how nice/cute they actually are and how evil/uncute they can be. initially, sure. but after some time these things don't matter anymore. you love your dog. period.

having a splitting headache. i should go sleep soon but waiting for my hair to dry. as your hair grows longer, it takes exponentially longer to dry. i hate it. i miss the times when my hair dries within 5 minutes.

every night i go to bed feeling real tired. but when i lie down i can't go to sleep. i keep thinking. a thousand repetitive and yet different thoughts run through my mind. it's not insomnia. i just cannot stop thinking. haiz.